Think you’re gonna take my daughter out for a date? I know where your mind’s at, son. In the gutter, just like... Continue ...

I’m not the kind of man to ask strangers on the internet for anything other than nudes, but I’m so desperate for guidance that I have no choice. I have a really bad problem. The demon possessing my ...

Mike Ditka, legendary Pro Football Hall of Famer better known as Da Coach of Da Bears, was welcomed to Da... Continue this ...

Secretary of War Pete Hegseth announced that the firing squad execution of Fort Hood shooter Nidal Hasan on December... Read the full masterpiece ...

Cornell University announced they would’ve had more flexibility in taking disciplinary action against seven alleged rapists ...

DUBLIN, OH — After the surprise release of Wendy’s collaborative emo album, CEO Bob Wright announced that all store employees must undergo extensive mandatory training outlining the scene-defining ...

BOSTON — Ed Sheeran finally broke his silence to address the controversy surrounding his embattled 2026 tour following his supporting acts’ dismissal for expressing anti-genocide views about the ...

WASHINGTON — The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service announced that they have added ‘90s grunge singers to the list of endangered species, confirmed sources. “Black rhinos, sea turtles, and guys who sang ...

WASHINGTON — Rob Schneider, once the famed pariah of SNL and star of such classic films as ‘Deuce Bigalow’ and ‘The Hot Chick,’ filed for relevancy after 25 years of blissful invisibility from our ...

A lot of people said it couldn’t be done. That there are too many Democrats; too many congressional races. There are too many state and local elections that you don’t even vote in, why would you ...